Letting go

As summer comes to a close and another little one is heading off to school for the first time, I am faced again with the process of letting go.  To have one of my babies head off into the hands and trust of another.  It is so hard to release my kids into the world knowing they are being influenced by others.  I know that ultimately God is in control and that everything will be fine but the thought of knowing my kids will be influenced by others and are so quick to absorb not only the positive but the negative, scares me.

Having 3 adult kids I have been through this before.  But knowing what lies ahead causes me to cringe almost daily.  It's not easy to let go.  I must let them have the experiences they need so that God can mold them in the way He needs to.  Something I had to learn along the way with my older kids.

Today Dakota had her Kindergarten testing.  Although she's been so excited to go to school for the past 4 years, over the summer she's been protesting aggressively on not going.  She cried herself to sleep last night hysterically and would not get ready to leave the house.  She finally cooperated when I told her I would ask if I could be in the testing room.

I was surprised that when they called her name from afar, she took off running to this person she has never seen before.  She has so much fun and was so excited.  When she came back to me she told me "Mommy school is GREAT!!!"  The look on her face was so precious.

Now with one more at home who doesn't start school for 2 more years, I'll be enjoying my last baby years by watching her intently in how she responds to the world more closely.

I know when they are all grown up and moved out I'll look back at this time and see the way all of it played out knowing it was all that God intended, good or bad.  But even though they are grown, as my first 3, it's still hard to let go.  With every stage of life there is something new to learn as a parent.  You never stop worrying, being scared, or trying to move mountains so they don't have pain.

Letting go will never be something that can be learned.  It's something I'll need to continue to do for the rest of my life.

Source: everythingfab.com via Salena on Pinterest

A Little Piece of Me

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Girls Night Out

Saphire called me to ask me to spend one on one time with her.  We have all been so busy it's hard for me to spend time alone with any of my kids.  It worked out where my mom could watch the little girls so we planned for Monday night.  The plans were a surprise to me.  All I knew was that it was just me and Saphire.  As the time drew near, I found out Ashley was coming and that Josh would be picking me up on his way home from work since he works by our house.

He came to the door in his uniform.  Since we have never seen him in this uniform we had to take pictures!!!

We had a nice drive to their house and had a nice talk on the way about where he'll be stationed for 15 + months at the end of August.

Josh and Ashley switched off.  We said goodbye to Josh and we were on our way to meet Saphire at the mall.  Ashley kind of slipped up and mentioned something about our appointments.  I had a feeling pedicures were going to be a part of our surprise plans so I remembered to shave.  =)

When we got to the mall Ashley got me her new favorite drink.

Black tea, sweetened, with strawberry, and thai walls.  It didn't come out right at this Starbucks so I was not impressed.  She did bring over one tonight and it was YUMMY!!  Wherever she went made it right.  =)  Then she stopped to get us some pretzel bites with Parmesan cheese at Pretzel Maker for snack while we did our nails.

Next stop, L'mour Pearlridge where Saphire works.  I always have a hard time choosing my color.  Does anyone else have this problem?  Well in all my life, this is only the 2nd pedicure I have had.  The first one was 2 or 3 years ago for mother's day with these lovely daughters of mine.  I love having them done but we just don't have the money so it's a treat that comes from my daughters.  =)

  

This blue was not what I was going for but I loved it in the salon.  At home, not so much but still pretty.  I was going for the midnight blue that looks almost black.  I guess they ran out because she couldn't find 

it.

Next stop, surprise walk down the other end of the mall to California Pizza Kitchen.  Yummy appetizers and pretty decorated sodas and waters but our food was terrible.  All 3 of us sent ours back and when it came back my pasta was cooked wrong but still tasted good.  Our waitress was lovely and gracious.

Next stop, Dip n Dots Ice cream.  The girls got rainbow as you can see by their dip n dot lips down below.  I had a cookies & cream and coffee mix, it was so good!

   

We had a great night together just the 3 of us.  It's so nice to be treated by my girls to a great night out.  Thanks to my mom watching the little girls I was able to have a "girls night out" with my older girls and have a great bonding time with them.  They are also like best friend's to me, not just my daughters.  We have so much fun together.  =)

We ended our night going to visit my son Kapono who was in the hospital across the parking lot with pneumonia.  We had a few laughs before we needed to go home, it was so late by then.  It was nice for us 4 to be together again.  It has been a long time.  I remember when it was just me, a single mom and my first 3 kids when they were below the ages of 10 before I married Rudy.  The brief moment we spent in the hospital room together, just the 4 of us was precious to me.

I love my kids.

A Little Piece of Me

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Thoughts On Motherhood

 My name is Salena and I have been married to Rudy for 14-1/2 years.  I'm a mother of six and a grandmother of three.  I am a stay-at-home mommy to my three little girls and they keep me very busy.  I was born and raised on Oahu, Hawaii and I have lived here all my life.

I have been a mother for 26 years.  I say 26 years because I believe we are mothers before we even know our babies are growing inside us. 

I am mommy to:

Ashley (25)

Kapono (23)

Saphire (22)

Aleshanee (6)

Dakota (3)

Hayden (2)

I am grandmother to:

Makana (3)

Aaliyah (2)

Kaenen (2).

I have been a…

Teenage mother

Single mother

Mother of...

A baby angel in heaven

Every stage through adulthood

TEENAGERS with raging HORMONES!!!!!

A drama queen

A special needs child

A movie star

A bride

I am also a mother-in-law and a grandmother.

If I missed anything, I know my kids will read this and set me straight.  =)

You may be surprised to know, when I was a little girl, I NEVER wanted to have kids.  Shocking I know.  I am one that cannot stand pain and I knew I would never be able to go through childbirth.

When I was 15 I found out I was pregnant with my oldest daughter, Ashley.  In all the shock, fear (of my parents), and being disappointed in myself, the one thing I knew is I wanted to keep my baby.  There was not even a hint of doing anything otherwise.  I had my son, Kapono when I was 18 and then my daughter, Saphire at 19.  

Many years in between… 16 to be exact

5 years of unexplained secondary infertility

Fertility procedures

Fertility drugs and injections

Surgeries

And a heart breaking missed miscarriage (you can read about it more here) and all that goes along with that… we were finally blessed with our daughter, Aleshanee. 

Then, to our total shock… we were eventually blessed with our daughters, Dakota and then Hayden.

All of this, wrapped up in 26 years this December… looking back at it all there are some days I wonder how I got here.  When I read this back I am amazed to see how much I have changed, how much God has entrusted me with and how much I am blessed.

People ask me advice all the time and assume I know everything about parenting.  They tell me that I must be a pro at this because I have so many kids and have been a mother for so long.

Here are some things I can share with you…

Each child is different

They have a mind of their own

They have different needs and sometimes it happens all at the same time

They need to experience life, good and bad

They cannot be controlled

They need your undivided attention

They need to be heard

They need to be understood

They need for you to be fair to them

They need your protection

They need to feel loved and they need you to express it with words, by physical touch, and by your actions

They need to know you are proud of them

They need your support

They need to know you believe in them

One thing I know for sure… we are here for a purpose.  As parents, we want to protect our children.  Naturally we don’t want them to get hurt.  I’m learning that we are to guide them in the right direction but ultimately God is using them for a bigger purpose.  With my older kids, I tried to control their environment and protect them from everything that seemed harmful.  I mean, it seems only natural that a mother would do this.  My kids did not benefit from being protected in that way.  I didn’t step back and allow God to work in their lives in His way.  Don’t get me wrong… I believe that HE prevails no matter what I do.  I do however know that I need to do things differently with my younger 3 and ultimately with all of them, including my grandchildren in the future.

I must constantly remind myself that they are here for a greater purpose.  To step back and let them find what it is they are here for.  To trust that the things they are going through, the choices and mistakes they make all lead to God molding them to where they need to be.  When I have this understanding, I am better equipped to love them, believe in them and to support them in their Journey.

What about you?  If you are a mother, what do you know for sure?  Are there changes you need to make?

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Treasured Time

 

I got to see my granddaughter Aaliyah twice this week.  I don't get to see her often so it was fun to have her over two days in a row.  She had fun playing with Dakota and Hayden while Aleshanee was at school

Dakota and I had one on one time and had fun together building a house for her little toys and then a witch house.  Not sure how she came up with that one but it was so much fun.

When Hayden woke up from her nap she put on her (well, mine but they took them from me and they think it's theirs) high shoes (that's what Aleshanee calls my heels), grabbed one of her many bags and was having fun walking around the house by herself.

Later, Aleshanee came home from school and while Dakota was napping... made this box car for Hayden and pulled her around the house for  a little while.  It's so nice seeing them play nicely together.

Daddy surprised us with a night out.  Money is really tight right now so these times have been scarce lately.  We got to go to Aleshanee's (well, my favorite now too) favorite place, Menchie's for yummy yogurt.  I could eat there everyday, I want some now.  :)

We strolled through our neighborhood mall for the evening.  The girls stopped to watch the fishes.  It was so cute because that's the first time the three of them sat together like this to watch, so quietly.  It was so cute to see Hayden pointing and trying to tell us something about the fish.

The girls stopped for a hula hoop session.  Aleshanee is a pro, and I don't mean that lightly.  She is a super pro.  Dakota, not so much.  She hasn't learned how to do it at all yet but she has fun trying.

Towards the end of our night, the girls spotted these green chairs.  They loved it so much they had to ask Daddy if they could get it.  I had told them no but they had to ask Daddy just to be sure.  I thought they were $18 each, crazy!  So we told them that if it was a few dollars (which we both knew it wasn't) that they could get it.  Took it to the price scanner, they were all excited with their hopes really high..... scanned.......... $23 each!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What?????!!!! The girls were disappointed to say the least.  There were tears involved.  =(....  Daddy settled on a couple of stickers then they were happy.  By the way, those chairs were salon chairs for dolls.  What will they come up with next?

We all had fun.  It was nice to get out of the house for a change.  Having a tight budget, sky high gas prices, husband's work hours and overtime slowing down... these times are treasured.  Just being together, experiencing life, and being able to witness the girl’s reactions to things around them is just so precious.

All my heart…

Salena

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Birthday Beauty

This is my daughter Saphire.

She is the youngest of my first bunch of kids.

She is a single mother of her 2 year old daughter and does an incredible job raising her.

She has a new love in her life and he is amazing with both her and her daughter.

She is 22 years old today.

Happy Birthday Saphire!!!!

My oldest daughter made her wear this crown and sash and I think she looks like a true beauty queen so I had to share this shot with the world.

All my heart,

Salena

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The Two Babies and a Ball

Over the weekend I captured these shots of my youngest daughter {23 months} and my youngest grandson {25 months} at play.   It was the first time I can remember taking a picture of just the two of them together. 

All my heart,

Salena

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Do You Cherish Them?

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I came across this quote and I am reminded of an episode on Oprah where Maya Angelo was on the show.

  

She said, "When a child walks into the room, does your face light up?"

This question alone by itself is very powerful.

She went on...

What do your facial expressions show to them?

How is your demeanor towards them?

Are you attentive to them?

Do you acknowledge them?

Do you greet them with joy?

I was so convicted by her statement.

Everyone wants to feel cherished, that they matter, that they bring joy to someone else.  Children look to us for comfort, acceptance, and belonging.

With the days frustrations it’s easy to lose patience with my kids.

I forget so easily how fragile they are.

They are so impressionable and soak up everything I say and do.

The silent things such as our facial expressions and the way we carry ourselves in front of our children affect them more than we think.

They are very smart and can read us for who we really are before we even speak.

It makes me sad to hear this question and know that this is not me.

I get overwhelmed.

I get frustrated.

I get distracted - - easily.

I know in my marriage, if my husband is overwhelmed, frustrated, and distracted, it shows on his face.  When I walk into the room, I don’t get noticed.  It doesn’t feel very good.

Children are so much more sensitive.  We are all they know at such a young age.  They look to us for so much.

I pray that I will change this part of me.  I want to be a light to my children and for them to know the moment I set eyes on them that they are the most important thing in that moment.

All my heart,

Salena

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Tuesday Ten :: Memorable Places

Ten Memorable Places

1. Diamond Head Lookout

why: my husband proposed to me there

2. Alaska

why: honeymooned there and fell in love with the place

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3. Kaka'ako Park

why: many of our pre-marriage dates were there and it's the place where I danced a special hula for my husband while we were dating

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4. Ala Moana Beach Park

why: it's the place where Aleshanee had her first experience with the beach as a baby

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5. Waimanalo Beach Park

why: my grandmother used to take me and my sister there all the time.

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6. Shirokiya at Ala Moana Shopping Center

why: my grandmother's favorite place / Japanese food and all things Japanese /  she would buy us Sanrio stuff which is why I'm so obsessed with Hello Kitty and other Sanrio characters till this day

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7. Dole Cannery Plantation

why: we love to take our kids there to feed the Koi fish at the pond in the back, ride the train to tour the plantation and finish the day with yummy frozen pineapple yogurt

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my girls feeding the koi fish

8. A side street near The Waikiki Shell

why: first kiss with now husband =)

9. Kaiser Moanaloa Hospital

why: my 3 older kids were born there

and

it's the last place I said "I love you" to my grandmother and she said "I love you too" the night before she passed away

10. Kapiolani Hospital for Women and Children

why: it's where we took our long journey from infertility to having our 3 little miracles

All my heart,

Salena

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