Focus

When I started this blog, it was with the thought that I had no idea what I was doing and I was not sure I would be able to pull it off.  My goal for starting my blog was to inspire others with the lessons I have and am learning in my own life.  To reach out, share my story, and for others to know that they are not alone.  With this in mind, I share about my everyday life, faith, marriage, parenting, things I love, things I'm passionate about, and basically wherever my heart thoughts lead me.  I am honest, raw, real, emotional, passionate and will share deep things because I believe it will help others.  When those around me are real about their life and transparent with me, it helps me relate to them better.  It also reassures me that I'm not alone.

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I started this blog mid August 2011.  In the last 10 months I have had to remind myself time and time again why I'm doing this.  It is so easy to get caught up with what so and so is doing and making sure you're at all the parties (blog hops / link ups) and guest posting, guest swapping, giveaways, and more giveaways.  There have been several bloggers talking about how there has been more guest posting and giveaways in blog land lately rather than sharing from the heart and about what we are learning in life.  This is true, at least for me.

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First paragraph = reason I'm doing this, my goal with my blog.

Second paragraph = what I've been focusing on and stressing about.

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Time to get my focus back and do what I came here to do.

What is your goal for what you do?  Have you been focused or have you been sidetracked?  How are you going to get back to your goal?

A Little Piece of Me

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As of late...

I'm in love with my keychains so I took new photos with instagram and wanted to show them off.

New pose they've been flashing me recently.

yum.

Photo taken summer 2007.  Aleshanee is 2yrs old in this photo and I am pregnant with Dakota.  This is my most favorite photo that I took myself.

My sister Cassie and her friend Pedro, both were recently in Little Shop of Horrors.  Pedro was the lead playing Seymour.  They were 2 of the 25 that were called back to audition live at the XFactor Audition Pass Contest.  They were 2 points away from a perfect score.  The winner was the only one with a perfect score of 30.  He was amazing.

Don't let their cuteness fool ya. 

Their new pose, not sure where they learned it.

Fun times.

Jumping off the side of the slide is their new favorite thing.

My little love bug.

Lined up little shoes, precious.

Little sister wants big sister to carry her and to take care of her.

Running away with her chocolate easter bunny after hiding out and eating all her chocolate eggs and cookies.

Beauty along the way to the playground. 

Took the short walk to the playground and they stopped right before it and sat on the pavement.

"Help, help, we're locked, locked in jail!!!"

Dakota is helping Aleshanee from sliding down and Hayden is at the top helping by holding Dakota's feet.

Precious moment.  I almost missed this photo opp not knowing they were doing this but caught them just in time.

First time at the pool in a long time.  Just putting feet in the water after a hot day at the playground.  Dakota still does not want to go in the water after her pool accident.

We've been getting outside daily, a change from being on the computer all day and having the girls getting into everything repeatedly.  It's been so nice to see them running around, using their imagination and to see just how much energy they have and must let out everyday.  Since Hayden is getting older and is able to be outside with little supervision at the playground it's been a nice break for me to sit and watch them rather than getting after them every few minutes for getting into things, not picking up their mess, or to stop fighting.

Dakota has been more willing to help and obey the first time with a quick "ok" or "sure".  Hayden has been asking for "carry" from big sister and has been okay with taking direction from her sisters.  Hayden is talking more and is so independent.  Aleshanee has been doing homework willingly and her reading is improving.

Lately, I've been wanting to spend more time looking at them, hearing, really  hearing what they are saying.  I've been catching myself way too many times speaking the words "wait. not now. just a minute. quiet! I can't concentrate! I'll get it in a minute. let me finish." and so forth.  I don't like the way things are going so I'm going to make changes around here.

Changes which may affect this blog which is dear to my heart.  Hopefully not too much.

Although I have had Instagram since it first came out, I have recently started using it actively.   You can follow me here:   

xoxo, Salena

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Doing The Best I Can

Hey guys, I have a special treat for you today.  I invited Cat back from Stuff I love when I read her original post on "Doing the best I can".  I can totally relate to what she was saying and thought you might too.  We mommas need to support and encourage one another so here she is with her thoughts on doing the best you can as a mother.  I share my thoughts at the end and I hope it will stir you on to a better understanding of yourself once to read this.

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For years I've been hearing people tell moms "just do the best you can, and that's good enough." It sounds great at first, but allow me to argue.  In my humble opinion, I truly believe that sometimes "doing the best you can" isn't the best option.  Sometimes, we as moms need to do the best we want to do.   Allow me to explain.

I don't always do the best I could do every day.  If I did the best I could, I would spend more time with God.  If I did the best I could, my house would be tidy and disinfected from top to bottom.  If I did the best I could, my kids would be much better behaved.  If I did the best I could, there would be more money in my bank account.  If I did the best I could, I'd be thinner and more fit.  I  could rise at dawn to read my Bible and pray.  I could spend the 2 hours the kids are having 'quiet time' scrubbing counters, folding laundry, vacuuming floors, sweating on the elliptical and doing sit-ups.  I could fix all the meals from scratch every day of the week.  I could cancel all my discount-site memberships, stop paying for blog sponsorships, close my etsy shop, coupon more extensively and comparison shop more exhaustively.  I could do all these things - and that would be the very best I could do.

But I don't.  And I don't want to.  I spent three years doing the very best I could - doing all the things I knew I was supposed to do to be the best wife and mother and housekeeper I could be.  I spent all my waking moments changing diapers, feeding babies, playing with toddlers, fixing suppers, scrubbing, folding, tidying, listening, disciplining and waking up in the middle of the night.  And at the end of those three years, I stopped for a moment to breathe and realized that doing the best I could had left me exhausted, drained and depressed.   I cried all the time.  I secretly fantasized about running away to the Caribbean.  I was very unhappy and my family could sense it.  I felt like I didn't know who I was anymore - I'd lost my identity somewhere amongst the piles of laundry and stacks of diapers.  All I wanted was a little time to myself to explore who I was on the inside - to chase after a few of my own dreams.  And I resolved that I would no longer do the very best I could do.  I would do only the best that I wanted to do.

So I instituted quiet time (before, I was with big brother all afternoon) to teach the kids a little independence and to give myself a break.  Sometimes I'm very productive with quiet time - I clean, I exercise, I nap - but a lot of the time I'm not.  Most days I blog, check email, read a book, make jewelry or lose the time doing goodness-knows-what.  Sometimes the laundry piles up, or the sink fills with dishes, or the kids stay up past bedtime so we can goof off and watch silly videos on youtube, or I can take a hot bath, go to a class or work on a play.  Sometimes, like yesterday, I'm feeling ill and all that gets done is changing diapers and feeding kiddos.  And some days I spend money just because I want to and it feels good to buy something new.  But you know what?  I'm happy!  I find joy in spending time with my kids instead of wanting to escape.  I look forward to waking up in the morning and having a whole new day ahead of me.  I'm finally starting to feel comfortable in my own skin.

Before you despair completely about the state of my home/family now, I should mention that, quite often, the best I want to do is also the best I can do.  In general, I like living in a neat, clean house.  I'm a little obsessive about keeping to-do lists and weekly menus and a coupon binder and reorganizing every shelf and room in the house.  In general, I do a load of laundry every day, wash the counters and put away dishes after every meal, and keep the bathrooms relatively clean.  The kids are usually all in bed by 8, they are usually fed wholesome meals, and I usually don't allow them to swing from the chandeliers or draw all over the walls.  We're slowly settling into a very nice routine which lets me 'get stuff done' and spend quality time with the kids all in the same day.

However, I've learned that it's ok (in fact, I'll argue, necessary) to slack off now and then.  I don't have to be the very best I can be every single day.  My life and my diet are very similar, really.  If I fill my belly with nothing but wholesome foods all the time, eventually I'll succumb to my cravings and pig out on hamburgers and milkshakes.  But if I pig out all the time on junk food, eventually I'll find myself craving a nice big salad-bar.  So it is with life.  If I do the very best I can every single day, eventually I'll wear myself ragged, become angry and depressed, and have to take a break or risk a breakdown.  But if I slack off for too long and really let things go, I'll always catch up again with a big cleaning day, some extra snuggle time or an especially frugal week.

It's all about balance.  Knowing how to take care of yourself in order to take care of everyone and everything else.  It's a realization I'm making very slowly, but I cannot tell you what a relief it is.  I don't have to be Supermom.  I don't even have to be the very best I can be.  All I have to do is to seek balance in my life and that will make it the best life I can have.

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For myself, I hold myself to a high standard.  One that is way out of my league yet I feel like a failure when I don't meet those expectations in my head.  It's easy to feel guilty.  Guilty of not doing enough.  Knowing what I need to do, want to do, and just not having the time to get "it" all done.  I came across something recently that said to get rid of all the extra stuff, focus on only your priorities and make room in your life for those things that are important to you.  Doing those things to the best of your ability will bring you happiness.  I'm still trying....

xoxo, Salena  BlogLovin / Facebook / Shop / Twitter / Google+ / Pinterest 
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Heart Therapy:: Letter From My Old Self

Today the idea is to think of yourself old, at the end of your life, and what advice you will give yourself now with what you are going through, looking back.

Dear Salena,

What is it that you are so fearful of?  Life is not that complicated but you let it grip you and hold you back from all that is good.  There is so much out there for you to explore, to experience.  The thoughts going on in your head are not truth.  You need to throw it all on God.  All your doubt, anxiety, fear, worries, disappointments… all of it.  You know that HE is there, waiting, and listening.  HE wants to take it all from you but you refuse to let go.

Life is passing you by.  Hours, days, weeks, months, years… what do you have to show for it?  In the things that surround you at this moment, what has changed?  How have you made a difference? 

You need to believe in yourself.  Look at all your beautiful children.  I know you feel like you’re not enough, that you haven’t done enough but look how they are growing, thriving, and becoming their own people.  They all have loving hearts, they love others, are compassionate, they are making their own decisions and doing well because you have taught them well.

All we can do is do the best we can with what we have where we are.  Everything will fall into place.  You cannot do it all.  Take a step back and look at your life.  You know, it is clear what is most important.  Clear your mind, focus, you will see.  As what’s most important comes to the surface, you will know what to do.  Stop second guessing yourself.  STOP DOUBTING!!!  You are WASTING TIME!!!! WASTING YOUR LIFE!!!  You are capable, YOU ARE NEEDED!

You have helped so many hearts in your lifetime.  Why don’t you see it?  You are good enough!  Stop comparing yourself to others, they DO NOT MATTER! Wake up!

As the years go by, you will see, it will all make sense.  I wish I could let you see what I’m talking about.  To let you know what I know. 

You know that God is there, HE is here with you.  HE is what you need when you feel that you lack anything.

Your family is waiting for you.  Stop hiding in the mound of “what if”, “but”, “I haven’t”, “I didn’t”, “I need to”, ‘I’m not like…”, “I’m not good enough”, etc…..

I can see clearly, I see you, your family, your life.  It’s not worth doing what you’re doing. 

YOU’RE MISSING IT!

WAKE UP!

I’m waiting…

Love,

Salena

We need each other, more than  we know.

All my heart…

Salena

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Small Business Month:: Challenge #2

October is...

Today's prompt is this:

Tell about one challenge you've come across since you decided to start selling your merchandise, whether it be through an online retailer {Etsy}, during craft shows, or just from friend-to-friend. Could it be book keeping? Balancing the family? Creative block? Marketing challenges?

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These are some of the challenges I have come across since I decided to start my blog and selling my merchandise.

Challenge #1: Balancing my family

Keeping up with my Blog, opening up my etsy shop, and finding time to make stuff to fill my shop has been weighing on my family.  I didn’t that I would be addicted to doing all of this!! There is much more to it than I thought but I love it.  I need to find a way to make it all work.

Challenge #2: Anxiety

I have lived with anxiety all my life and post-partum depression since I had my almost 4 year old.  I've noticed my anxiety levels have skyrocketed since I started my Blog and now I’ve added my etsy shop.  The stress is high.  Time just flies by so quickly.  Having 3 young kids at home with my husband working odd hours and having no sitter… I find it hard to focus and concentrate to write my Blog or to create products for my shop.  Some days are easier than others.

Challenge #2: Doubting Myself

I doubt my ability, my grammar, my products… I lack the confidence needed at times to just put myself out there whether it be my Blog or my shop.  Self doubt causes me to waste a lot of time pondering instead of just doing.

When I look back and read these three, I guess my problem is not having enough time or not knowing how to use my time.

Does anyone have any suggestions as how I could get out of this rut? 

All my heart…

Salena

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take time to smell the flowers

While rushing back from a potty break during our time at Costco, Dakota yelled out to me “Mommy, can I smell the flowers??!!”  At first I told her no because I wanted to get back to daddy and the girls to finish our shopping, it was closing time.  She again asked me “Please, can I smell the flowers?!” then it hit me.  What am I doing?  Why am I always in such a rush?  She reminded me that night to stop and enjoy the beauty around me, yes, even inside Costco.  Also to pay attention to my child who already has the heart to notice and allow her the moment to do so. 

My sweet Dakota… thank you for your innocent loving heart and for reminding me to stop and smell the flowers.  Such a simple moment but it was a beautiful one we enjoyed together.

All my heart,

Salena

Linking up here:

The Shine Project:: Living A Simple Life

The challenge this week, is to make the steps towards living a simple life.

This could not have come at a better time.

One thing that I learned this week is I need to be present in my life.

My days go by so fast.  From the moment I wake up till the time I go to bed, there are other other's needs that need to be met.  I try to do so many things at once that my days are often a blur and then it starts all over again with little sleep in between.

I have been feeling drained.  My life has been chaos.

To be present in my life means to me that I am focused on the task at hand.  Focused on the person I am with.  Connecting with them, understanding them, and truly wholeheartedly being changed in that moment because of their presence in my life.

In order for me to do this, these are some of the things I need to change about me and my life:

Eliminate everything except for the essentials

Spend time doing what's important to me

Get rid of things in order to free up time to spend with loved ones

Get rid of clutter to leave room for only things that give me value

Limit communications

Limit media consumption

Establish routines

Keep to a schedule

This statement really hit home for me:

Find inner simplicity: spending time working on my inner self creates a peaceful simplicity rather than a chaotic confusion.

I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression in 2008 after the birth of my 5th daughter.  It hit me hard and I was very scared.  My doctor then diagnosed me with Anxiety.  Looking back, I now know that I have been dealing with major Anxiety all my life.  I just didn't know it.

Simple tasks or even thoughts and decisions at times are completely impossible for me to accomplish.  When my anxiety surfaces, it causes me to not think straight and I cannot concentrate.  Add in 3 screaming children between the ages of 1 and 6 and all the demands that come with it, there are days when I just can't think straight at all.

This week I have thought about what would help.  The simple thought of living simply... seems so simple.

This challenge has given me resources to put into practice, something I never had before.

All my heart,

Salena

Linking up here: 

Finding Balance

Finding Balance

Since I started this blog, I have been a little out of sorts.  Okay, extremely out of sorts.


I have been so unorganized not only in my time and schedule but my thoughts as well.


I need balance in my life.  I don't know how to "do it all" or "get myself together".  I need to find peace,to get everything done.


{{Focus}}


My life was already full of demands before I started my blog and I want to find a way to add blogging into my life because I love it.


I have been inspired by so many other people out there who are so encouraging.  They are real, honest, raw, brave, open, fearful, confident, secure, scared... everything and anything, and it's OKAY.


I am learning that there are people out there who love one another for who they really are.  I don't need to try to be someone I'm not to be accepted.


I don't want to lose what I have found in having my blog so I am working on laying everything out, making a plan, reminding myself why I started and NEVER give up.


I love to share my life and inspire others.  I know God has allowed me to have the life I have in order to relate to others, to have compassion and encourage those who have been through similar things as I have.


At times my days get overwhelming but I know I need to take a step back and focus on the simple things that matter the most and then it will all make sense and what I need to do will be clear.  At times, for me, it's a lot of moments throughout the day.


I was inspired by "The Shine Project" and will be linking up on Friday on how to "Create a Simple Life".  What perfect timing.


There is a resource here which has already inspired me to make changes in my life.


All my heart,

Salena