Joyfully Free

Over the past couple of months, this is what's been going on over here... Dakota is swimming on her own!  My last update was that she let go of one of her older sisters while in the pool and started swimming on her own with her puddle jumper.  Shortly after, she asked me to take of her puddle jumper and she wanted to try swimming on her own.  She didn't do well at all and kept sinking like a rock, total dead weight and had no arm and leg coordination or the ability to keep herself up.  However, within a few days she mastered it.  Just had to keep reminding her to be aware of her breathing and not getting to tired while she tried to cross the pool.  She has been doing great!

I am beyond excited to tell you that she has no more fear in her eyes at all.  She is filled with complete joy and is finally free from all fear and anxiety from her accident.

I love watching her swim.  She is now dunking her head under water and with her goggles she tries very hard to swim underwater.  She's a fighter.  She will try and not give up until she gets it.  We are so proud of her.  In her own time, she broke through the fear.  We didn't ever push her.  God was working on her each and every day since her accident.  He knew what He was doing, we just needed to sit back and trust His timing.  When that day came, she broke out of her shell so quickly and totally with no hesitation and no going back.

Dakota just celebrated her 5th birthday.  She has grown so much in this last year and I can see first hand the amazing things God has done with her.

If you are not familiar with her story, you can read about the accident here.  To read the entire thread related to this topic you can read about it here.

Thank you for all your prayers, kind words of encouragement and loving support.

An Update || Dakota's Story

For those of you who are familiar with Dakota's Story, you may want to grab a tissue.  For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, go grab a box of tissue and start here.  After you read that go here for the story thread.

It was only on June 2, 2012 on the first anniversary of Dakota's accident that she let me carry her into the pool.  With her arms wrapped tightly around my neck and her legs wrapped tightly around my waist.  Since then she's only been in the pool less than a hand full of times, clinging to me for dear life.

Two weeks ago we went to the pool with Saphire, Eddie, and Aaliyah.  The girls were in the pool with me and Dakota asked me to carry her in the water.  I reached for her under her arms, pulled her close as she wrapped her arms and legs tightly around me.  I walked around the pool for a while with her clinging to me the entire time.  I needed to get out so I asked Saphire to take her.  Dakota clung to her the same way she did to me.  Next thing I know, Dakota is traveling the wall all by HERSELF!  Saphire told her to grab on to the wall and she did.  I missed what happened but caught a glimpse of her when she completed her way around the pool.    

A short time later, Saphire needed to get out so Eddie took over.  Next thing I know, Dakota was swimming the length of the pool with Eddie close to her, all by HERSELF!!  She swam back and forth twice!  I did not even notice till she was already half way done.  

WE WERE SO HAPPY AND PROUD OF HER!!

Here's Ashley and Dakota together in the pool for the first time since Dakota's accident.  Such a special time after going through so much.  To think the last time they were in the pool together was when Ashley pulled her out of the water and saved her life.  It gives me chills just thinking about it.

Ashley and I still have fears and anxiety when it comes to being at the pool and especially when we are out numbered by kids or if there are big crowds.  Dakota still talks about her accident in great detail and has so many questions.

We are all slowly moving forward and this is such a HUGE step that we are celebrating!!

A Picture Says A Thousand Words... moving on

Today we went to the pool.  Something we rarely do, especially not by myself since Hayden is older now and won't stay in a pack-n-play.  My neighbors were on their way to the pool as usual, they go every day but this time she begged me to go inside with her and let the girls swim.  I went back home, got all our stuff and got in the water with Aleshanee and Hayden.  Hayden kept jumping to me from the steps but she wouldn't let me hold her or keep my hands on her to keep her afloat.  She had her puddle jumper on but kept inhaling the water because she was so excited and wanted to swim all by herself.


Dakota was sitting at the steps with her feet in the water as usual.  Something she has always done since her accident.  If you have not read about her accident yet, you can read it here.  This post will make a lot more sense if you do.  Before we were headed out of the pool back to the playground, I asked Dakota one last time if she was sure she didn't want to come inside.


Surprisingly... she agreed and let me carry her in the water.  I was so proud of her!!

It took 13 months to the date of her accident (June 2, 2011) and close to the exact time that she became responsive in the emergency room.

She has talked about her drowning all this time and has been so terrified to get back in the water.  Asking very detailed questions and dissecting my every answer about that day.


I had to force her to get out because she did not want to leave.  I am so happy that she is moving on and that we trusted her to make the choice on her own.  Her face was so filled with joy when we were swimming around in the water.  She would not let go of my neck but I know she will be okay and that's all that matters. 

  

A Little Piece of Me

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One Year Ago... an update.

Today marks one year since this horrific day.

Thankfully, Dakota has been fine with the exception of still not wanting to get into the pool.  Two days ago she came up to me and asked me if I can take her into the pool and carry her in the water.  Daddy took them to the pool yesterday but she did not get in.  It's not so important and she will do it when she's ready.

Last night, driving home from the store she started talking in detail about what happened on June 2, 2011.  It was the weirdest thing because she had never done that before.  She asked me over and over again about things that happened and asked me if I remembered all of it.

It was as if it was happening all over again.  The sense of fear and loss came back again.  Aleshanee told me she remembers me crying the whole time.  Dakota asked me why.  It was hard to let the words out of my mouth and tell her I thought she was dead.

Since that night in the hospital when she finally came out of the fog and unresponsiveness, she has continued to be a light, so smart, funny, clever, and so much more than she was before she went under the water that day.

I'm not sure what today should mean.  A day to reflect.  A day to rejoice.  A day to remember.  A day to give gratitude.  Whatever it is, I have revisited that day and the feelings are still there.  I look at her here with me, being able to hold her warm body, hear her heart beating, feel her warm breath, look into her sparkling beautiful joyful eyes, hear her laugh...

I will never forget what happened that day.  I will probably have to relive it for her many times in the future.  I'm just so grateful that I have her and that she is loving life so much.

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The Day We Witnessed A Miracle... We Will Never Be The Same

{It took me a very long time to even start to write this post.  It was hard to start it and get through it.  It's not exactly perfect and is probably missing parts too.  It's long and detailed in some parts and short and vague in others.  I want to get this post out before the year ends so we can start 2012 with a clean slate.  Please bare with me the length of this post as I wanted to get it all out in order for my heart to heal.  Even as I write this little note up here, I cannot bring myself to re-read the body of this topic, it's just too hard.  Bless you if you read the entire thing and the follow up links.  I have had readers click on these links before and leave non-related comments which tears at my heart.}


I share this story because it may help at least one person or reach out to at least one person who needs to hear it.  I believe God allows us these events so we can help others....


June 2, 2011...


It was the first weekend of summer vacation.  My oldest daughter, Ashley invited us to her community pool by her home to spend the day together.  I usually decline because I don't like the cold water of the pool or the beach.  Ashley is the one who has taken them to the beach a few times.  Since we went to a pool party 3 months prior for my granddaughter's first birthday and we had fun, I agreed to doing a pool day.  My husband had to work so it was just me and the 3 little girls.


I packed our bags, drinks, snacks, pack-n-play for baby along with her toys to keep her busy.  When we got to the pool I immediately set up the pack-n-play for Hayden so she would have a safe space to play while everyone was swimming.  I sat beside her to keep her company.

It was a beautiful day.  I even took one of those pictures that Ashley and my other daughter, Saphire take when they go to the pool.  The one where you are lounging with your feet crossed with the view of the open pool straight ahead.

Ashley gathered up the kids to go into the pool

my nephew AJ (14y), my neice Za (9y) both are able to swimmy daughter Aleshanee (almost 6y), my daughter Dakota (3y), and my granddaughter Liyah (2y) they cannot swim
AJ and Za were in the pool having fun, swimming, and taking turns holding on and swimming around with the little ones who could not swim while they were sitting in their infant floaters.
I took Hayden in for a while and Ashley and I also took turns pushing the ones who could not swim around while they sat in their floaters.

Eventually I had to get out of the pool because I got really nauseous.  For years now, the chlorine from the pool and the movement of the water on the surface of the pool causes me to get really sick.  I told Ashley I had to get out cause I was feeling sick.  I took Hayden out.  All the kids were okay.  Dakota, Aleshanee, and Aaliyah were all standing on the steps of the pool while Ashley was standing in front of them at the bottom step, this is in the shallow area.
I walked away to the pavilion area where we were sitting, oh I don't know... 50-100 feet away?  I dried up Hayden, changed her clothes and put her into the pack-n-play.  She was sitting nicely playing with her toys and lying down quietly.  I kept watch of Ashley and the kids while I took pictures of Hayden.

Shortly after, Ashley asked what time it was and said we needed to start packing up in a few minutes to leave.  She and her husband needed to be somewhere that night.
In the meantime we found out that one of the kids did not bring extra clothes.  Ashley and I were asking them why and were going back and forth with them about it.  

Ashley told the kids we were leaving.everyone got out of the poolgrabbed their towelsgrabbed the floaterswalked over to meput their stuff down and started drying off to go home
Ashley said "where's Dakota?"I said "I don't know, what do you mean where's Dakota?"Za said "I think she went to the bathroom"
Ashley immediately went straight to the pool because something inside told her toI watched as she walked over there not thinking of anything reallyas soon as Ashley got walked up to the poolshe yelled "OH MY GOD!!!" and jumped inMy heart stoppedI went over there as she pulled her out of the pool completely blueher eyes were open but glassydistant not connecting with usshe was not movingshe was not breathingAll I could do was stand there while Ashley had her in her armsshe kept telling her to wake up"please koda wake up, wake up!!!!"then she started to prayfervently with everything she had she was crying out to GodI could not believe what I was seeing.I felt numbI felt the sudden urge come over me that she was dead and that she would never come back to usI screamed at Ashley "HOW COULD YOU JUST LEAVE HER!!! YOU CAN"T JUST LEAVE HER!!!OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ASHLEY!!!! WHY DID YOU LEAVE HER ALONE??!!!!                             that's all I could do, I just kept repeating myselfAshley looked at me and yelled to CALL 911!!!  she kept repeating it to meI ran to get my phone and no matter how many times I tried I could not get my phone to work.I just stood there and stared at the phone not knowing what I was supposed to doAcross the way a lady yelled out to us asking if she was breathing and respondingI looked over at her and saw she was on the phone and had already called 911I was in shockI did not think to call 911Prayer did not even cross my mindI was numbthe only thing in my mind was that she was dead"I lost my baby, she's gone, my baby is dead!!!!"at that momentafter Ashley had started CPR on herDakota started coughingwater started to drain outshe was foaming at the mouthstill unresponsiveI grabbed her from Ashleywalked over to the pavilionsat on the chair with DakotaI just rocked hertelling her how sorry I was that this happened to herI kept repeating to her that it was okaythe whole time I was still cryingshe was not responding to meher eyes were glassy like she wasn't thereshe started vomiting a lot over and over againall over meI just kept holding her tight rocking her in my lapthe whole time this was going on from the minute she started coughing up water I tried to call my husbandno answerno answerno answertextingno answerover and overthe paramedics arrived sirens blaringthey had me put her down on the pavilion table and asked lots of questions which we could not answerher oxygen level was not great but it was okaybecause she was unattended when she drownedthey had to strap her to the long board and put on a neck brace because they have to assume she fell and may have hit her head just to be safe
my niece came up to me and told me she was taking Aleshanee over to the bushes near by to pray for Dakota, they were freaking out.  Ashley went over with them and was praying with them.
FINALLY my husband called me backI told him "YOU NEED TO COME RIGHT NOW""DAKOTA DROWNED"He said 'WHAT???!!!!"I told him Ashley revived her, the paramedics were here and they are taking her to the hospitalbecause of the type of job he has, he cannot just leave.he needs to be replaced which takes timeI told him what happenedhe was angry"SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE BEEN WATCHING HER, WHY WERE YOU GUYS NOT WATCHING HER!!"
I finally called my momI told her the same thing "Dakota drowned"I told her what happened and asked her to call everyone else
When she called my son he had just come home from workshe told him "Dakota drowned"but did not tell him that she was stable and revivedhe ran back into the car and drove as fast as he could to the hospital which is far from where he liveshe was crying and driving thinking she was dead
In the ambulance they couldn't get her vein for an IVit took a long time, so much so that the guy had to do it standing up while the ambulance was rushing through trafficDakota was not respondingI just kept talking to herholding and rubbing her face and handshalf way to the hospital she started nodding her head to answer meI kept talking to her and telling her how great she was doingshe was still not connecting to usI just kept talkingonce we got to the hospital a swarm of emergency team swept her awayI stood outside the door numbthey asked me to come in and told me it was okay to stand up by her headit was like on tv or the movies when they had to ask me if they could cut her swim suit offI didn't care about it and told them of coarse, she won't be needing it because we're never going swimming again!they checked her vitalsbrought in a portable xray machine to check her lungsthe lab tech came in to draw her bloodshe was just laying there with glassy eyes and not responding to anyoneI remember feeling so relieved that she was alive, awake, and in the hospital where they were taking great care of herMy son came firsthe was so angrywhen my mom called him, she told him "Dakota drowned"he had just got home from work so he got right back in his car and had a hard time driving to the hospitalhe thought she was deadhe was so relieved to see her awake when he arrived in the ERMy husband came shortly afterhe was so angrythoughts were swirling in his head about how this could happenIt was an accident, I kept telling himIt all happened so fastEventually test results starting coming back and we found out thatDakota had really low PH levels due to her swallowing too much water and needed to be kept overnight for observation and for some IV medication to balance her levels outThere was concern for infection which, thankfully never happenedSeveral hours after arriving at the ERDakota finally started talking and interacting with usnot totally back to herself but the strangest thing happened.She started talking and expressing herself like she has never done beforeIt was as if something unlocked in her brain when she was unconscious

She was all of a sudden such a smart little ladytalking in ways we have never heard beforeNot only did I witness a miracle at the pool when she was revived,I feel like at that moment when she opened up,was another miracle.Later that night family started showing up at  the hospitalWhen Ashley arrived with the little girlsDakota would not look at herIt's like she knew something happened with AshleyFor days she would not talk to her and she would shut down and look down when we mentioned Ashley's name, or if we saw Ashley in personThe day Dakota was discharged from the hospital

My husband found this bracelet and had Dakota choose the color she wanted to give to Ashley.  Just so happens she picked the color blue, like water.  It was very weird when we thought about it later.

Dakota gave it to Ashley when they picked us up to go home but would not look at herIt wasn't till a few days later when my older kids came to visit Dakota that she finally opened up to all of them, especially Ashley.

To continue, please read more in these links below.coming back to usblessing in disguise
Today, Dakota is doing fine.

 She is still scared to go into the water and does still talk about this day.  She asks questions about different things, about God, about who was there, and tries to put pieces together... then she just drops it.  She knows and is constantly reminded that God has bigger things in store for her.  Although she was alone physically in the pool for that short time on that day... Ashley reminded us that God was with her the entire time.  Everything happens for a reason.  God and his angels are at work.  HE works for the GOOD in ALL things.  This has taught me not to take anything for granted.  Events like this force us to STOP... gather as a family in time of need and brings us together to be united.

I end this year knowing this was my greatest lesson and greatest blessing.Xoxo, Salena s

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