Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Sarah from The Fontenot Four and I have come together this October to bring awareness to this special topic. If you have only joined us now I welcome you to read my thread here and Sarah's thread here. For more information on October 15th National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day you can read about it here.
October 15th is a day set aside to remember all the babies who have gone too soon. Whether by miscarriage, still birth, birth complications, SIDS, etc. Losing a child is something you are never prepared for and most times the loss is a silent one. Some women do not want to talk about it, others are forgotten because in some cases there is no physical baby to grieve.
I have lost two babies. Both by missed miscarriage in the first trimester. Although my babies were with us for such a short time, I am forever changed by having them living inside me. The hopes and dreams for my babies that my husband and I dreamed about from the moment we were aware of them in my belly, were stripped away from us in an instant. This is where most of the grief hits when you lose your baby by miscarriage. I did not know the sex of my babies. My babies were delivered at home while I was alone in my bathroom. I was never asked to save anything from my first miscarriage but my second one I did. Unfortunately what I thought was the baby was not. We will never know the sex of our babies or why they had died so soon. A part of me wants to know and my heart hurts that we could not name our babies because we don't know.
We have never had a memorial service or any kind of remembrance ceremony for our babies. Last year was the first October 15th that I lit a candle for my first baby, and my two grand babies. This year, we are adding our second baby.
I have always been torn on how to remember them and who to involve. Because honestly it seems like only I remember them. Aleshanee and Dakota talk about our most recent baby that was lost. They ask me all the time if I'm sad that my baby didn't make it. It breaks my heart but it fills my heart with love knowing that they remember. They are the only ones who ask me how I'm doing and if I'm sad.
I wrote about my miscarriages and I invite you to read about it here:
It helps me to share my story. My babies are a part of me, they were here, they were loved. The first time I shared about my miscarriages I was flooded with women who have never spoke about their losses. They tell me how brave and courageous I am to share about my story, something so heartbreaking and special. I am not brave nor courageous for doing so. For me, I'm the type of person who needs to talk it out. I want to share my story to help others know they are not alone. There is hope and healing will come.
I talk about my babies to keep them alive. They have a story to tell, they were here for a purpose. When I speak about them, they give other grieving mothers hope and faith. They help others to be strong when their life is crashing around them from something so heartbreaking nothing can erase.
Those women who came forward and opened up to me about their losses, some for the first time they have said a word to anyone... those are the brave and courageous ones.
|Blessing Flag via|
Today I Honor:
Baby Lee (01/12/2004) due August 4, 2004
Baby Lee (12/30/2011) due August 2, 2012
Elijah White (2009) due April 26, 2010
Baby Evangelista (2011)
Sarah and I would love for you to share your stories if you are open and willing to share. Your children are not forgotten and we want to remember and celebrate them with you today. Their lives will always hold a special place in your hearts and they will always have meaning. If you don't want to share your story, please feel free to remember your angel babies in the comments below. Whether you comment as "Baby", "Baby Boy / Girl", or with the name you chose for them, along with their dates if you choose, they are remembered today.
Your precious babies are remembered, honored, and celebrated today.
Thank you so much for sharing such a personal piece of your story with us today.