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Monday, October 8, 2012

Pregnancy and Infant Loss || They Have A Story To Tell

My 2 babies I lost by missed miscarriage at 11-1/2 weeks and 9-1/2 weeks were here for such a short time.  In that time they have impacted me, my husband and our families.  They brought love, hope, faith, and closeness.  There is a reason for their existence, they have a purpose.  We will never be the same because they came to us and because they were taken so soon.  Every time I speak about them, they are alive.  They touch lives and hearts of others even though they are not physically with us.  They have taught us compassion for others who have suffered loss.  They have shown us that even though losing them was beyond what we could bare, that God is faithful and brings us through it.  We have learned how strong we really are and that we are capable of going through hard things.  Unfathomable things.

Some women do not like to talk about their loss.  Some want to talk about it but have no one to turn to.  Like me, I love to talk about my babies, what I went through, the emotions and memories.  This is what helps me.

When I first spoke about my miscarriages here on this blog, there was an overwhelming response by women who have had miscarriage, sometimes several but have never told anyone.  I felt so incredibly sad.  There are more women out there than we know of who feel isolated and alone.  Suffering and grieving in silence.

When you have a miscarriage, there is no physical baby to grieve.  Nothing you can do to provide closure.  During the days, weeks, months, sometimes years, we are faced with people who ask us how our pregnancy is going, how our baby is doing, magazine and online subscriptions showing up in our mailbox, and relatives and friends who live far away who ask how old our baby is now.  I have had it all.  It never gets easier to have to tell others that our baby died during pregnancy and it was so long ago.

When these things happen, it's like our babies are giving us little hugs by remembering them.  Either with someone who has newly lost a baby or by explaining to someone that our baby had died.  Every time we talk about it we are remembering them and they are telling their story.  Their story, that they were here, they existed.  The story of their brief existence will heal hearts and give hope to others.

Sometimes just for the mere fact that they are not alone.

We welcome you to share your story... 

This month, Sarah {from Fontenot Four} and I are joining together to bring awareness to others in this blogging community and to be a support and encouragement to other women who have experienced the devastating loss of a baby whether during pregnancy, stillbirth, or after the birth of the baby.  It can be a very isolating experience, and we want you to know that if you have experienced such a loss, you are not alone.  This October 15th, Sarah and I will be hosting a very special link up.  We want to use this link up as a way for us to share our stories of loss, no matter how recent or how many.  Whether your loss is new or you have been on a journey of healing for some time, we welcome you to join in our link up.  We want to provide a place to share your stories because you just never know when something you share might have a profound impact on someone who is traveling a similar journey.

Please feel free to grab a button to help spread the word!

A Little Piece of Me

<a href="http://salenalee.blogspot.com" target="_blank"><img src=" http://i1136.photobucket.com/albums/n497/alittlepieceofme/il_fullxfull2429463812.jpg " alt="A Little Piece of Me" width="250" height="200" /></a>



Brittany said...

Thank you so much for sharing these posts. I volunteered on Saturday for a Hope & Hearts run benefiting the Missing Grace foundation. I'm not sure if you've heard of them, but you might want to check them out, they're striving to provide resources and support to women who go through miscarriages and losing their babies. (www.missinggrace.org)Your posts have been teaching me so much, and along with participating in the run on Saturday has been a great experience, hearing from moms and families. Thank you so much for sharing.

Kerri Andersen said...

i admire you for sharing this. i am so sorry for your loss. i can't imagine! that would be so so hard.


Kimberly Klahn said...

Four years ago today we lost our Angel. I was 7 weeks, 5 days..which to many does not seem like much, but I was so excited for my first baby. Then one day at work I started bleeding and in my heart I knew. I went to the hospital and they made me wait for an ultrasound because the tech was not in. I went in and there was no heartbeat. My heart shattered. I begged, cried, pleaded..was there a way to fix it? I was 3 hours from home and my boss took me home. The next day the cramping started and my husband rushed me to the ER. I was terrified. I went to use the bathroom and came back and felt something weird. I reached down and there was my baby. I think that moment..is what makes it so hard for me. I remember going to get another ultrasound and my uterus being empty and crying. Having to go through a D&C. Thank you for sharing your story, as this is mine. I always mark the day Angel was lost 10/14/08 and the day he/she should have been born 5/14/09.