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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Letting go


As summer comes to a close and another little one is heading off to school for the first time, I am faced again with the process of letting go.  To have one of my babies head off into the hands and trust of another.  It is so hard to release my kids into the world knowing they are being influenced by others.  I know that ultimately God is in control and that everything will be fine but the thought of knowing my kids will be influenced by others and are so quick to absorb not only the positive but the negative, scares me.

Having 3 adult kids I have been through this before.  But knowing what lies ahead causes me to cringe almost daily.  It's not easy to let go.  I must let them have the experiences they need so that God can mold them in the way He needs to.  Something I had to learn along the way with my older kids.

Today Dakota had her Kindergarten testing.  Although she's been so excited to go to school for the past 4 years, over the summer she's been protesting aggressively on not going.  She cried herself to sleep last night hysterically and would not get ready to leave the house.  She finally cooperated when I told her I would ask if I could be in the testing room.

I was surprised that when they called her name from afar, she took off running to this person she has never seen before.  She has so much fun and was so excited.  When she came back to me she told me "Mommy school is GREAT!!!"  The look on her face was so precious.

Now with one more at home who doesn't start school for 2 more years, I'll be enjoying my last baby years by watching her intently in how she responds to the world more closely.

I know when they are all grown up and moved out I'll look back at this time and see the way all of it played out knowing it was all that God intended, good or bad.  But even though they are grown, as my first 3, it's still hard to let go.  With every stage of life there is something new to learn as a parent.  You never stop worrying, being scared, or trying to move mountains so they don't have pain.

Letting go will never be something that can be learned.  It's something I'll need to continue to do for the rest of my life.

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10 comments:

Allyson Butler said...

This is such a great post! I don't have kids to relate to this, but it is so relevant for the rest of us too!

Katie @ the terpblog said...

ugh. letting go...my 2nd is off the all-day every-day kindergarten this fall! I struggled last year when my oldest started 1st grade - he was suddenly spending more time away from the home than in it and that was really hard for me to accept.

my intentional living link party will be live later today...hope you will stop by and link this post up! http://theterpblog.blogspot.com/search/label/living%20the%20width/

Jackie said...

I'm a new follower from the Mommy Brain Mixer link up :)

No(dot dot)el said...

Salena you tugged at my heart strings with this one for sure. I remember with each and everyone of my kids being so happy but sad on the first day of Kindergarten. Each milestone is so HUGE as they approach those starting lines I have to remember that although I can't go with them, God does indeed GO with them. That helps me sleep well at night. I hope and pray your lil Dakota has a wonderful first year and that you the Momma Bear can weather one more lil cub going out into the wilderness.

Kate said...

I remember when my oldest went into Kindergarten and I was crying and he was running off playing! Now that he is going into 5th grade I know I'll cry just like I do every year! It's what happens when you are a parent! I bet Dakota will have a great year of kindergarten! Good Luck Mama!

Cassie {two-in-diapers.blogspot.com} said...

So true! I was just getting all emotional today about my 2 older ones heading off to preschool soon. :( It's SO hard to let go, and I also think one of the hardest parts is knowing that I'll be having to let go so many more times for the rest of their lives! I just try to remind myself that we have prepared them for this. Still hard, though! Wonderful post, friend! I'm SO glad you linked up to the Mixer and I hope to see you again next week! :)

Zachary and Sarah @ HHG said...

Aww what a heart wrencher! :( New follower! Can't wait to read more!!

Motivated Mommy of two said...

I am having this same moment, my daughter starts Full Day Kindergarten tomorrow and I am having such a hard time. Even though I work full time she has always been with my mom, someone that I trust now she will be gone all day and it makes me nervous. We had the same experience with my daughter sometimes she was excited about school other times she was not. But now that we have all her things ready she is really excited to start school. Just like you I am praying and leaving her in Gods hands to guide her and protect her while she is at school. How old is your daughter mine is started early she does not turn 5 until two months.

Motivated Mommy of two said...

Forgot to mention I found you through the mommy brain mixer your newest follower

Amy said...

My youngest daughter will be starting kindergarten in a couple weeks. It is always hard to let them go, but there is comfort in knowing that others know what we're going through. I'm hoping to make the most of having just my littlest guy at home and spend lots of quality time with him.